What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Yes sir it is.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

How do I develop the patience to read books?

Sure no problem officer.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Why do men like to have sex with a woman's ass?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

{RING} {RING}

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

After a few moments he returns.

Why would my ex block me after I blocked him?

HELLO

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?